Application for Primary 1 Class

Original Text: Application for Primary 1 Class


We are applying for our daughter Christie ABC's 12/13 P1 class. ABC' is our top school preference not only because of its distinctive track record of providing high quality education and producing high achievers, but equally important, of the school's teaching philosophy identified in its vision and mission statements, high-qualified and committed teachers who bring the girls to their full potentials.

Christie in our view is sociable, creative, sportive, motivated to learn, and willing to take on challenges. With such personality we think she will fit well in ABC. She has been taking up various activities such as ballet dance, drawing, and swimming on her own initiatives. She also learns taekwondo and ice skating with her elder brother.

To us, school is not the only venue for education, home is of equal importance. As parents we - holders of MSc and MBA degrees respectively - are committed and prepared for long-term to actively participate in our children's education and upbringing, while trying to be their good role models in daily life.

Under ABC’ rich and encouraging learning atmosphere with makeup of capable and caring teachers and high potential pupils, we are confident that Christie will be able to explore and develop her potentials while enjoying her schooling there.

Should Christie be accepted into ABC, we believe she will benefit from her experience there for years to come. Our hope is that Christie, with God's grace and a strong early educational foundation, will one day become a positive influence in our community and society. Thank you for your time and consideration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

We are applying for our daughter Christie's enrollment in ABC's 12/13 P1 class. ABC is our top school preference, not only because of its distinctive track record of providing high quality education and producing high achievers, but equally important, for the school's teaching philosophy, identified in its vision and mission statements and the highly qualified and committed teachers who bring the girls to their full potentials.

Christie, in our view, is sociable, creative, sportive, motivated to learn, and willing to take on challenges. With this personality, we think she will fit well in ABC. She has been participating in several activities including; ballet, drawing, and swimming, on her own initiative. She is also learning Taekwondo and ice skating with her older brother.

To us, school is not the only venue for education, home is equally important. We (her parents) hold MSc and MBA degrees respectively, and are committed, and prepared for, long-term, active participation in our children's education and upbringing, while working to be good role models in our daily lives.

With ABC’s rich and encouraging learning atmosphere, capable and caring teachers, and high-potential pupils, we are confident that Christie will be able to explore and develop her potential, while enjoying her schooling.

If Christie is accepted into ABC, we believe she will benefit from her experience there for years to come. Our hope is that Christie, with God's grace and a strong early educational foundation, will one day become a positive influence in our community and society.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Comments for Application for Primary 1 Class

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 30, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thanks for sharing
by: Anonymous

Choosing a school for your kid very challenging task, you have to look for teachers' qualifications, dedication and their attitude along with general repute of the school. low cost Stevenage removals

Oct 29, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Very Informative!
by: Anonymous

Brilliant information on this website, I would highly recommend people to read information here. Rochdale co2 cannon manchester

Oct 22, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Thanks for sharing
by: Anonymous

Many thanks for this information, I would highly recommend people to read infomration here.Harlem gospel tour first time

Sep 08, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Useful
by: Dave Watson

such a good site for the English language learner.
www.hexder.com/products/watch-hacker-coat-aiden-and-pearce - hexder

Aug 19, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
This is great post
by: Anonymous

Armed Security Guard Companies


Armed Security Guard Companies - Looking for an armed security guard company to protect yourself, your institution, or your valuables? If so, you'll want to be sure that the company you select will assign a licensed, experienced armed-security professional who is committed to providing you with the fullest sense of safety and confidence.


Aug 18, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Great
by: Anonymous

This is an excellent post I have seen thanks to share it. Thanks for this post. Keep it up
bumper stickers cheap rate

Aug 17, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Nice post
by: smith

Armed Temporary Security Guard Companies


Armed Temporary Security Guard Companies - When planning an event for your business or organization, the last thing you want is for it to get out of control and have what was supposed to be a profitable, joyous occasion turn into one in which property was stolen or violence broke out. For this reason, it’s a must that you turn to a reputable armed temporary security guard company to make sure things go according to plan.


Aug 13, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
quite eventful
by: Anonymous

Apple products are revered for its quality, precision and great design. SRSG started its operations as Apple technology partners in the year 1997.
Apple authorized service center delhi
FM Radio consultants
ipad dealers in Mumbai
System Integration service providers
www.srsg.com/graphic-automation.html - Graphics automation


Aug 13, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Brilliant Post
by: Anonymous

This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free. I enjoy seeing websites that understand the value of providing a prime resource for free. I truly loved reading your post. www.gymflooringuk.co.uk/

Jul 30, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
Education
by: Anonymous

As an educator and a close family member, I was extremely scared by the termination professional essay writers that he draw from the examine that he quote. This quantity be hypothetical to be at length comprehend handwriting and his proposal heed.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Invitation 5- Proofreading Archive-April to June 2011.