Editors Challenge

by Amanda
(Ladysmith, BC, Canada)

Original Text: Editors Challenge


All the in stock items requested in your recent purchase order were ship to you Friday May 8 from our Vancouver warehouse.

Because of unseasonably wet weather in February; this springs supply of black teas from Sri Lanka are extremely limited. We have non of these fine tea on hand at present, however, we expect a small shipment to arrive by August 1.

We do have in our warehouse a stock of select black teas from the following sources, south China Japan and south India. Indian teas as you are well aware do not always meet some of our customers high standards. Which is why we hesitate to advice you to except the Indian tea as a substitute. Chinese and Japanese teas though are generally well regarded.

In fact on of our customers recently said "Our best sales are now from Chinese black tea. Another importer wrote "We are delighted with the recent shipment of Japanese black tea". Moreover, an article in the January 8 issue of the new york times described the healthful affects of Japanese tea.

Please call us toll free at 1-800-321-8993 to tell us whether you wish to wait for the Sri Lankan black tea or whether you prefer the immediate supply of black tea from: China, Japan, or India.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

All of the in-stock items requested in your recent purchase order were shipped to you on Friday, May 8, from our Vancouver warehouse.

Due to unseasonably wet weather in February, this spring's supply of black teas from Sri Lanka is extremely limited. We have none of these fine teas on hand at present, however, we expect a small shipment to arrive by August 1st.

We do have in our warehouse a stock of select black teas from the following sources, South China, Japan and South India. Indian teas, as you are well aware, do not always meet some of our customer's high standards, which is why we hesitate to advise you to accept Indian tea as a substitute. Chinese and Japanese teas, though, are generally well regarded.

In fact, one of our customers recently said, "Our best sales are now from Chinese black tea." Another importer wrote, "We are delighted with the recent shipment of Japanese black tea." Moreover, an article in the January 8th issue of the New York Times described the healthful effects of Japanese tea.

Please call us toll free, at 1-800-321-8993, to tell us whether you wish to wait for the Sri Lankan black tea or whether you prefer the immediate supply of black tea from; China, Japan, or India.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Click here to post comments

Return to Free English Proofreading and Editing Archive January - March 2011.