Leaving the Nest

by Shannon
(Fisher)

Original Text: Leaving the Nest


I had just finished high school that Friday. Getting my cap and gown put away in my mother cedar chest I thought to myself that this is the first day of adulthood. Boy was I ever wrong. After closing the lid I then realized that I needed to pack my things for the move on Saturday. After packing like most 17 year old boys pack I placed the garbage that is now filled with my belongings in the back of my father’s truck I started to think a bit about what was about to happen and what I was about to do. Leave this comfortable house and rural upbringing and head out to the big city to start my life and as the truck pulled out of the driveway I watched the house get smaller and smaller and everything I know feel as if it was to be lost forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

I had just finished high school that Friday. Getting my cap and gown put away in my mother's cedar chest, I thought to myself that this is the first day of adulthood. Boy was I ever wrong. After closing the lid, I realized that I needed to pack my things for the move on Saturday.

After packing like most 17 year old boys pack, I placed the garbage that is now filled with my belongings in the back of my father’s truck. I started to think a bit about what was about to happen, and what I was about to do, leave this comfortable house and rural upbringing and head off to the big city to start my life.

As the truck pulled out of the driveway, I watched the house get smaller and smaller, and felt as if everything I knew was to be lost forever.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Click here to post comments

Return to Free Proofreading.