My Driver's Test

by Abe
(California)

Original Text: My Driver's Test

As I walked out of the courthouse and down the ramp, I looked at my mom in disappointment and embarrassment. Never wanting to return to that dreadful place, I slowly drug my feet back to the car. I wanted to curl up in a little ball and I didn't want anyone else to know what I had done. Gaining my composure, I finally got into the car. I didn't even want to hear what my mom had to say. My face was beat red and I was trying to hide my face in the palms of my hands because I knew what was about to come; she was going to start asking me questions, all of the questions I had been asking myself. Sure enough, after a short period of being in the car, the questions began. "Honey, how could we have miscalculated six months?
My frustrated reply to every question was, "I don't know!"
Maybe this was a sign I was going to fail. I could only imagine how my brother and sister were going to make me feel. They had teased me about studying so hard for the permit test. Now here I was, not actual failing the driver’s test, but failing to go on the correct day.

Exactly one month later, all of the fears that happened in the past were returning. Was I going to fail? Was I going to get the same, strict instructor? As I slide out of the car and slowly shut the door, I could only hope that the same person wouldn't be there when I attempted to take my driving test last time. With that thought running through my head, my brain was in overdrive. All the wheels were turning as fast as they possibly could.
I tried to zone out the negative stories I heard by telling myself, "I can do this. I just drove through town on a practice run and I did perfectly fine." Of course, the fear of failure kept popping in my head and I couldn't get rid of it.Sluggishly, I made my way to the entrance of the courthouse. As I reached for the door, I let out a sigh of worry. I moseyed down the stairs trying to stall as long as possible. All that I could picture was the instructor with dark, slanted eyebrows that made a wrinkle between his two critical eyes. I could just imagine his evil laugh when he failed me. Walking through the completely white hallway with only signs to guide me to the right place, I read every sign hoping that the one that read DRIVERS LISCENCE would be closed. The hallway seemed like it was a mile long and I knew that we were approaching the last few doors, one of which would say the two most horrifying words. I looked down at the ground; when I looked up, I was faced with the fear of the huge, bold lettered welcome sign.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

As I walked out of the courthouse and down the ramp, I looked at my mom in disappointment and embarrassment. I slowly dragged my feet back to the car, never wanting to return to that dreadful place. I wanted to curl up in a little ball and I didn't want anyone else to know what I had done.

Gaining my composure, I finally got into the car. I didn't even want to hear what my mom had to say. My face was beat red and I was trying to hide my face in the palms of my hands because I knew what was about to come. She was going to start asking me questions, all of the questions I had been asking myself. Sure enough, after a short time in the car, the questions began.

"Honey, how could we have miscalculated six months?"

My frustrated reply to every question was, "I don't know!"

Maybe this was a sign I was going to fail. I could only imagine how my brother and sister were going to make me feel, they had teased me about studying so hard for the permit test. Now here I was, not actual failing the driver’s test, but having failed to go on the correct day.

Exactly one month later, all of the fears from the past were returning. Was I going to fail? Was I going to get the same, strict instructor? As I slid out of the car and slowly shut the door, I could only hope that the same person as last time wouldn't be there when I attempted to take my driving test again. With that thought running through my head, my brain was in overdrive. All the wheels were turning as fast as they possibly could.

I tried to zone out the negative stories I heard by telling myself, "I can do this. I just drove through town on a practice run and I did perfectly fine."

Of course, the fear of failure kept popping in my head and I couldn't get rid of it. Sluggishly, I made my way to the entrance of the courthouse. As I reached for the door, I let out a sigh of worry. I moseyed down the stairs trying to stall as long as possible. All that I could picture was the instructor, with dark, slanted eyebrows that made a wrinkle between his two critical eyes. I could just imagine his evil laugh when he failed me again.

Walking through the completely white hallway, with only signs to guide me to the right place, I read each one, hoping that it would read "DRIVERS LICENSING CLOSED". The hallway seemed like it was a mile long, and I knew that we were approaching the last few doors, one of which would have the two most horrifying words. I looked down at the ground. when I looked up, I faced the fear and the huge, bold lettered "Welcome" sign.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Click here to post comments

Return to Invitation 5- Proofreading Archive-April to June 2011.