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Rough Draft
The day started out like any other, one warm sunny afternoon in October, an incoming call came in for a young Afghan local female age 16-17 for possible kidney failure ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Revised Text: The day started out like any other. On a warm, sunny afternoon in October, a call came in reporting a young, local Afghan female, age 16-17, with possible kidney failure. Editor: 1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed. 2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish. Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list. |