Socialization Portfolio entry1

by Kari
(Fresno, California)

Original Text: Socialization Portfolio entry1


Autonomy
When I was ten years old, I loved to play therapist with my best friend, Amber. We would set her room up to be the office with a chair and a note pad for the therapist and a bean bag chair for the patient. A tissue box on the table in case things got really dramatic. We had such fun. I always wanted to be the therapist. When it was my turn to be the therapist, Amber would leave the room and knock on the door. Id say, “come in.” I would stand, greeted her and shake her hand in the most professional way I knew how. First, I would ask, “So, Miss Amber. What brings you into my office today?” Then, I would think of silly questions to ask her. I would ask her,who her best friend is. She would always say, “Kari.” Then, I would ask her to tell me about her best friend. Sometimes she would give me compliments or make outlandish statements. We would laugh and try to be serious again. However, other times what we would discussed was therapeutic. We would disclosed our parents arguments. What made us mad or scared . We shared thoughts on what wasn’t fair or other issues in our homes that we didn’t understand that made us feel uncomfortable.
In the text it states, “A sense of possession and ownership plays a roll in a person developing autonomy.” The reason I always asked Amber when we played therapist, “Who is your best friend?” is because her answer made by feel good and important. She was my best friend and I didn’t want her to be anyone else best friend , Just mine. It made me feel good when she would confirm and reconfirm that sense of belonging to each other.
At a time when I felt judged by my family and peers, it was important for me to hold on to Amber like a security blanket.
Gonzalez-Mena states, when a children start seeing themselves as separate from their parents it can allow the child to find strength in their individuality. Being able to see myself as separate from my parents made me feel separate from their negative behavior. This made it easier for me to discuss my worries and concerns and what was going on in my home with Amber. I didn’t feel judged or like I owned my parents behavior choices. I understood, I am my own person, with my own opinions.
In the text it states, “children gain a sense of self though play. Children can feel a sense of control and power through play. It also states ,children, nearing there second birthday can make internal representations. Meaning children can use their imagination to pretend something is different from its usually intended purpose is.” My best friend and I used her bedroom to represent a Doctor's therapy office. We decided to use her bean bag chair for the couch a patient lays on, as we had seen on T.V. I felt power in our play. I could direct the questions and I had a sense of control knowing I didn’t have to talk about anything I didn’t want to.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

Autonomy

When I was ten years old, I loved to play therapist with my best friend, Amber. We would set up her room to be an office with a chair and a note pad for the therapist, and a bean bag chair for the patient. A tissue box was on the table in case things got really dramatic. We had such fun.

I always wanted to be the therapist. When it was my turn to be the therapist, Amber would leave the room and knock on the door and I'd say, “Come in.” I would stand, greet her and shake her hand in the most professional way I knew. First, I would ask, “So, Miss Amber. What brings you to my office today?” Then, I would think of silly questions to ask her. I'd ask, who her best friend was? She would always say, “Kari.” Then, I would ask her to tell me about her best friend. Sometimes she would give me compliments or make outlandish statements, then we would laugh and try to be serious again. However, other times what we would discussed was therapeutic. We would disclose our parents arguments, and what made us mad or scared. We shared our thoughts on what wasn’t fair, and other issues in our homes that we didn’t understand, but made us feel uncomfortable.

In the text it states, “A sense of possession and ownership plays a roll in a person developing autonomy.” The reason I always asked Amber, “Who is your best friend?” when we played therapist, was because her answer made me feel good and important. She was my best friend, and I didn’t want her to be anyone else's best friend, just mine. It made me feel good when she would confirm, and reconfirm, that sense of belonging to each other. At a time when I felt I was being judged by my family and peers, it was important for me to hold on to Amber like a security blanket.

Gonzalez-Mena wrote that when children start seeing themselves as separate from their parents, it can allow the child to find strength in their individuality. Being able to see myself as separate from my parents made me feel separate from their negative behavior. This made it easier for me to discuss my worries and concerns and what was going on in my home with Amber. I didn’t feel judged, or that I owned my parents' behavior choices. I understood that I was my own person, with my own opinions.

In the text it states, “children gain a sense of self though play." Children can feel a sense of control and power through play. It also states, "children, nearing their second birthday, can make internal representations. Meaning that children can use their imaginations to pretend something is different than its usually intended purpose.”

My best friend and I used her bedroom to represent a Doctor's therapy office. We decided to use her bean bag chair for the couch that a patient lies on, as we had seen on T.V. I felt power in our play. I could direct the questions, and I had a sense of control, knowing I didn’t have to talk about anything I didn’t want to.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Click here to post comments

Return to Free English Proofreading and Editing Archive January - March 2011.