The Field 13

by Glenn Gillis
(LĂ©vis Quebec Canada)

Original Text: The Field 13


Lurking in the obscurity of the woods, they are now agitated as their red vision scans the young beings near bye.
Although their technology is light-years ahead of us, compassion is inexistent to their species. Just like cold-blooded reptiles, their young hatch from eggs. Their large circular black eyes are just as sensitive to the light as that of a bat, but are highly superior to that of the owl at night. Their insect like legs permits them to move as swift as a chipmunk. Their body structure and substantial matter is very complicated, half reptile and half insect. They have the incredible capability of camouflage, closely imitating other beings.
They sense that their enticement device is functioning; new experiences will have to be done with their new bait. Again, they know that one of the beings thinks he noticed their presence. They will have to be quick to act now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

Lurking in the obscurity of the woods, they are agitated as their red vision scans the young beings nearby.

Although their technology is light-years ahead of ours, compassion is nonexistent in their species. Just like cold-blooded reptiles, their young hatch from eggs. Their large, circular, black eyes are just as sensitive to the light as that of a bat, but are highly superior to those of an owl at night. Their insect like legs permit them to move as swiftly as a chipmunk. Their body structure is very complicated, half reptile and half insect, and has substantial mass. They have an incredible capability for camouflage, and can closely imitate other beings.

They sense that their enticement device is functioning. More experiments will have to be done with their new bait. Again, they know that one of the beings may have noticed their presence. They will have to be quick to act now.

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Click here to post comments

Return to Invitation 5- Proofreading Archive-April to June 2011.