The Field 14

by Glenn Gillis
(Lévis Quebec Canada)

Original Text: The Field 14


The little object begins to vibrate in their hands and is easy to make the children laugh. There laughter attracts Barbra’s attention.
She looks at them with a smile, closes her book, gets out of the swing and walks towards the sand-pile.
“Hay-, what’s so funny?” asked Barbara as she joins the children in their laughter.
Suddenly Barbara can see why the children are having such fun. She takes the strange object from their hands and examines it with awe. The object is so light as if there was nothing in her hands at all. She wonders what it could be. She never saw anything like it before. As she examines it, the object begins to vibrate. Surprised by the sudden movement, she drops it in the sand. At that precise moment a sudden, twist of wind slowly circulars the sand pile, then faster and faster lifting up the dust, twigs and leaves like a mini tornado. The children are afraid as they hold onto Barbara for security. Strangely, the wind and dust does not enter the sand pile. Panic overcomes the sitter as she examines the small object, which is glowing even brighter now. A flash of blue light discharges from the object striking the four of them where they stand. Like static electric, it follows the current through the veins paralyzing them. The stun provokes a strange effect upon them. Their eyesight is blurred and can only distinguish but shadowy movements around them, but slowly their eyesight returns revealing the horror that is observing them.

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Revised Text:

The little object began to vibrate in their hands, making the children laugh, which attracted Barbra’s attention.

She looked at them with a smile, closed her book, got out of the swing, and walked towards the sand pile. “Hey, what’s so funny?” she asked as she joined the children in their laughter.

Suddenly Barbara saw why the children were having so much fun. She took the strange object from their hands and examined it with awe. It was so light, it was as if there was nothing in her hands at all. She wondered what it could be, she had never seen anything like it before.

As she examined it, the object began to vibrate. Surprised by the sudden movement, she dropped it in the sand. At that precise moment, a sudden, gust of wind slowly circled the sand pile, then faster and faster, lifting up the dust, twigs and leaves like a mini tornado. The children were afraid and they held onto Barbara for security. Strangely, the wind and dust didn't enter the sand pile.

Panic overcame the sitter as she examined the small object, which was glowing even brighter now. A flash of blue light discharged from the object, striking the four of them where they stood. Like static electricity, the current raced through their veins, paralyzing them. Being stunned provoked a strange effect on them, their eyesight blurred and they could only distinguish shadowy movements around them. Slowly their eyesight returned, revealing the horror that was observing them.

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Jul 07, 2011
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The field 14
by: Anonymous

Up to date you've done a great job with my story, I also viewed the work you have done on some of the other peoples text and its very good. 2 thumbs up.

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