The Field 25

by Glenn Gillis
(Lévis)

Original Text: The Field 25


his number once again. After three rings, there was still no answer.
“Wonder where the heck...”
“He surely must have bought that bike by now?”
From where he sat, he could here the close line pulley squeaking. He put down the phone receiver and headed towards the back door. Just as he was about to open the door, he came face to face with his mother. Helen gasped as she seen Normand appear at the door at the same time.
“Normand!” his mother said as she held her breath.
“I just hate it when you do that.”
“Sorry mom.” replied Charlie opening the door for his mother with a little laughter.
“What’s the hurry now?” she said entering with a full basket of clean close.
“Here mom, I’ll carry that for you.”
“By the way mom, did Charlie call earlier?”
“Yes, as a mater of fact he did call...”
“...Well, what did he say,”
“He said he would call you back later...Oh yes, he said something about a bicycle.”
Well then, Normand thought as he bit at his nails.
That must mean that he bought the bike.
“What was that?”
“Oh-, nothing, just talking to myself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

his number once again. After three rings, there was still no answer.

“Wonder where the heck...? He surely must have bought that bike by now.”

From where he sat, he could hear the clothesline pulley squeaking. He put down the phone receiver and headed towards the back door. Just as he was about to open the door, he came face to face with his mother.

Helen gasped as she saw Normand appear at the door at the same time.

“Normand!” his mother said as she held her breath. “I just hate it when you do that.”

“Sorry mom.” replied Normand, opening the door for his mother with a little laughter.

“What’s the hurry now?” she said entering with a full basket of clean clothes.

“Here mom, I’ll carry that for you.”

“By the way mom, did Charlie call earlier?”

“Yes, as a matter of fact he did call.”

“Well, what did he say?”

“He said he would call you back later...and oh yes, he said something about a bicycle.”

"Well then..." Normand thought as he bit at his nails. That must mean that he bought the bike.

“What was that?”

“Oh-, nothing, just talking to myself.”

Editor:

1. Please review the text carefully to ensure your intended meaning was not mistakenly changed.

2. Before you leave this page, please take a moment to use the "Click here to post comments." link at the bottom of the page to rate the proofreading and leave a comment if you wish.


Proofreading and editing pages that receive ratings and comments are moved to the top of the list.

Click here to post comments

Return to Free Proofreading.