The Field 7

Original Text: The Field 7


Elizabeth wasn’t in what you could call the best of moods. First of all, she didn’t care much for baseball or any other sport for that fact, but she just didn’t have the guts to tell Alan. The hobby that she preferred the most was "fashion, shopping and makeup" to hide the few freckles that she had.
Five foot two, slightly chubby with short brown hair made her bright yellow dress stand out, but that’s the way Elizabeth liked things-, flashy. As she walked in the rough gravel long side the road, she was hoping she wouldn’t break a heel.
She certainly didn’t want to dirty her dress either. She was proud of her dress, but then why shouldn’t she, it cost her a fortune just like most of her wardrobe. It sure was taking a considerable amount out of Alan’s paycheck, but most of it came from her mother dearest. No one would ever find her in jeans or sandals like everybody mostly wore; oh no, she always thought of it as paltry, pathetic.
She was frustrated as she slowly walked towards the ball field bleachers. She had to carry the dammed cushion again.

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Revised Text:

Elizabeth wasn’t in what you could call the best of moods. First, she didn’t care much for baseball, or for any other sport for that matter, but she just didn’t have the guts to tell Alan. The hobbies she preferred the most were fashion, shopping, and makeup (to hide the few freckles she had).

Five foot two, slightly chubby, with short brown hair. This made her bright yellow dress stand out, but that’s the way Elizabeth liked things, flashy. As she walked in the rough gravel along the side the road, she was hoping she wouldn’t break a heel.

She certainly didn’t want to dirty her dress either. She was proud of it, but then why shouldn’t she be? It had cost her a fortune, just like most of her wardrobe. It sure was taking a considerable amount of Alan’s paycheck, but most of it came from her mother dearest. No one would ever find her in jeans or sandals, like most everyone else wore. Oh no, she always thought of that as paltry and pathetic.

She was frustrated as she slowly walked towards the ball field bleachers, she had to carry the damned cushion again.

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Oct 13, 2015
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Oct 13, 2015
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Jun 17, 2011
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your editing
by: Anonymous

Very very helpful, thanks again

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