The Field 4

by Glenn Gillis
(LĂ©vis Quebec Canada)

Original Text: The Field


Eventually, they will get what they are missing. The enticement device was sure to function. They would wait. New attempts would have to be done, but in due course, they would test it on the bigger worm blooded beings, but for now, the weakest were the young.
* * *
Approximately one hundred feet to the lift hand side of the field, crossing the gravel road, was a primary school. The schoolyard was in the back of this. Two swings and a small sand pile were available for children to enjoy. The school subdivided the ball-field from the schoolyard. Generally, when there was a ball game, some the parents would bring their children to the schoolyard with a baby sitter. Alan Beaudoin, his wife Elizabeth, and young five-year-old son Charlie arrived in a hurry that night. Knowing that they were late, Alan parked the Ford pickup in a hurry just by the schoolyard. As Alan gets out, Elizabeth picks Charlie up from the passengers seat and puts him down beside her then closes the door of the truck behind them. Alan grabs his bat and met from the back of the truck, puts his mitt under his armpit and bat on his shoulder then looks at his wife.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Revised Text:

Eventually, they would get what they are missing, the enticement device was sure to function. They would wait. New attempts would have to be made, but in due course they would test it on the bigger warm blooded beings. For now, the weakest were the young.
*
Approximately one hundred feet from the left hand side of the field, across the gravel road, was a primary school, with the schoolyard was behind it. Two swings and a small sand pile were available for the children to enjoy. The school separated the ball-field from the schoolyard.

Generally, when there was a ball game, some of the parents would bring their children to the schoolyard with a baby sitter. Alan Beaudoin, his wife Elizabeth, and five-year-old son Charlie arrived in a hurry that night. Knowing that they were late, Alan parked the Ford pickup in a hurry, just by the schoolyard. As Alan got out, Elizabeth picked Charlie up from the passenger seat, put him down beside her, and closed the door of the truck behind them.

Alan grabbed his bat and mitt from the back of the truck, put the mitt under his arm and bat on his shoulder, then looked at his wife.

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Oct 12, 2015
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Oct 07, 2015
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Oct 06, 2015
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Aug 23, 2015
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Jul 30, 2015
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Jun 23, 2015
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May 29, 2011
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intriguing
by: Anonymous

The editing was well done. Story in intriguing.

May 27, 2011
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The Field
by: Glenn Gillis

very good, thanks

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